I love you...

I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we’re great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I’m sure that’s what you’ll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the-the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is-is-is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can’t take this anymore. I can’t stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can’t-I can’t look into your eyes without feeling that-that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can’t talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship - no pun intended - but I had to say it, ‘cause I’ve never felt this way before, and I-I don’t care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can’t hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn’t allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I’ll accept that. But I know, I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there’s a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. And all I ask, please, is that you just - you just not dismiss that, and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. There isn’t another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I’m with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can’t deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you’ve meant to me, which - while I do appreciate it - I’d never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.

P.s: Haix... u are just avoiding it!! why can you just act like so normal.

The truth is told...

Thanks all my friends!!! At the time where i am most sad, you all lend me a hand to pull me. I will be fine de, just give me some times to recover!! :) but i still miss him :(

For you woodhead....

I finally got the answer i wanted... I know that you are the same woodhead i know and still do not know i like you. I have decided to let you go in my heart, i just need to know that you are happy. Whether anot to let you know that i like you, that i am still deciding. Maybe when i hide this truth until i cannot breathe anymore than i will chose to let you know. At least i still have all the memories with me :)

It's when I’m standing six feet away from you and not being able to find the words to tell you how much I love you and how much I miss you… that I just want to scream to the whole room that I’m still in love with you. It’s when I’m sitting alone with the phone in my hand, dialing your number and just hanging up… that I would trade a thousand tomorrows for just one yesterday. It’s when I’m really sad about something and need someone to talk to that I realize you’re the only one who knew me at all. It’s when I cry myself to sleep at night, and it hits me how much I would give to hold you at that very moment. It’s when I think about you that I realize no one else in this world is meant for me.

black shirt...

First day wearing black and i was asked to helped out in Suntec. I am so not use to wearing black, especially the long pants. I can imagine wearing them in far east, how hot can it be...

my precious friends...

First of all... I wan say sorry to my gi na as i almost did not listen to all of your advise today. I know that you all have only my best interest at heart but i just let my heart take over my brain. A big THANKS to Eugene for accompanying me to supper just now. Although we did not talk much about him but it is the concern that helped me. Our kind of friendship just really amaze me sometimes.

I am giving myself just one more week and i have to stop all this crap of drinking and having supper excessively for the last close to one month. I am getting fatter and i hate it... Time to really try to let go and cheer up. I am not sure whether i can do it but i must really give it my best effort.

P.s: Time to say bye to yellow at work and to say hi to black. Hope i will not screw up anything with my new job scope. :)

Pondering...

On the way back from Hougang after meeting up with Dan Da Jie. I miss her, truely miss the times working today at far east, miss the times helping her out with english, miss the times when she will talk to me when i am feeling down. She been through alot thru this few months and i am glad at least she got out of it. She gave me alot of advise on what i should do. 我应该短痛儿冒险没有你这的朋友。。。 或长痛把感觉埋在心里。。。I still do not know what to do and i just do not want to think so much too... I miss you but for now i will not do anything. Hope mei mei and me will be able to walk out of this love shit thing... Time to go study for tmlo test already...

swollen eyes :(

Omg!! my dear eyes have been swollen for close to 1 whole day already and it dun look like it is healing. I look like a goldfish ah!! Pray pray that it will heal fast, as in recover now :P At least i think i know the reason of them so such just do my best to avoid it. The three hours talk with zee and shi xian at LJS, although was feeling uncomfortable due to the goldfish eyes but i still have great fun. With the three of us, there is never a moment where we run out things to talk about. LUV u two :)